my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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