And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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