elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Help. Why am I so naked?
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