I met the friendliest cop last night
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Holy sore nipples Batman
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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