dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize