Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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