Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...