Don't make out with my wife yet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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