I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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