I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
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I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize