I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
