Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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