girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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