barbara walters just said penis...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
