I'm passing your future prison.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
