I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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