It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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