We're like a lot better than the average bears
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
