The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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