Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
