So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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