Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
