I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
