so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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