I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
