ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize