I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
