We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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