to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You made out with two different species that night
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
