your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
