Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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