if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
