another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
