If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
