11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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