Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
