I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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