shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
