Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
