Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
