apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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