I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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