Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"