I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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