Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
