thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
