Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize