party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
