careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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