question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
