he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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