I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
