at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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