If i come over, it means nothing
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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