Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
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