So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
