just come out here and I will go home with you...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
