thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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