I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
