I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize