Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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